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John Zaixin Zhang

 
 
 

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Different Ways to Bug Your Parents  

2013-09-10 21:03:04|  分类: Book 1: Creative |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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  (From Lee Wardlaw’s 101 Ways to Bug Your Parents)

Ways to Bug Your Parents

(1)      Chew with your mouth open.

(2)      Burp with your mouth open.

(3)      Don’t say: “Excuse me” after you burp.

(4)      When your dinner arrives, hold your nose and say: “Eww! What smells?!”

(5)      Blow bubbles in your milk.

(6)      Laugh with a mouthful of milk until some squirts out your nose.

(7)      Take one look at your plate, then say: “I’m not hungry.” Later, ask for ice cream.

(8)      Use all the toilet paper and don’t put on a new roll.

(9)      Only brush your front teeth.

(10)  Don’t brush at all—just wet your toothbrush.

(11)  Eat candy after you brush.

(12)  Wait until your mom’s in the shower, then bang on the door and shout: “It’s an emergency!”

(13)  Don’t flush.

(14)  Don’t make your bed.

(15)  Leave half-eaten food under your bed. For weeks.

(16)  When it’s time to go to bed, ask to stay up a half hour more. Then another. And another.

(17)  Don’t get up on time.

(18)  Miss the bus so they have to drive you to school.

(19)  Wake them up when they’re sleeping in on weekends.

(20)  Turn on the TV really loud, then say: “I can’t hear it.”

(21)  Say: “Shut up” when they interrupt your favorite TV show.

(22)  Bribe your [neighbor friend] to do your homework and housework.

(23)  Make goofy faces during the family holiday photo.

(24)  Give them the silent treatment.

(25)  Repeat everything they say.

(26)  Ask for six-month advances on your allowance.

(27)  Ask: “What’d ‘ya bring me?” every day when they come home from work.

(28)  Never play with the [books] they buy you.

(29)  Forget to write thank-you notes to your grandmother.

(30)  Pretend to barf [slang: vomit] in the new car.

(31)  Lose French fries under the car seat.

(32)  On a trip say: “I have to go to the bathroom” every ten minutes.

(33)  At home say: “This place is boring. When can we go on vacation?”

(34)  On vacation say: “This place is boring. When can we go home?”

(35)  Forget to pack your toothbrush and clean underwear.

(36)  Don’t help carry in the groceries.

(37)  Come in the house with muddy shoes. (Extra points if the floor is freshly mopped.)

(38)  Snap, crackle, and pop your bubble gum.

(39)  Leave chewed gum in the pockets of your dirty pants.

(40)  Put clean clothes back in the laundry hamper.

(41)  Throw your dirty clothes on the floor, not in the hamper.

(42)  Never change your underwear.

(43)  Wear jeans with holes in the knees.

(44)  Don’t wear the new clothes they buy you.

(45)  Don’t answer the phone or the door.

(46)  Say: “Huh?” a lot.

(47)  Leave wads of used Kleenex all over the house. Soggy wads.

(48)  Listen in on their phone conversations.

(49)  Ask them for help with your homework, then let them do it while you watch TV.

(50)  Beg them for things when they’re too tired to say no.

(51)  Don’t comb your hair.

(52)  Don’t bathe.

(53)  Drink milk or juice directly from the carton.

(54)  Say to your mom: “That’s not a woman’s job.”

(55)  Say to your mom: “That’s a woman’s job.”

(56)  Say to your mom: “My teacher’s almost as old as you!”

(57)  Offer to count or pull out their gray hairs.

(58)  Be rude to their friends.

(59)  Hit the newspaper when they’re reading it.

(60)  Put ketchup on yourself and pretend you’re hurt.

(61)  Bring bugs into the house. Big ones.

(62)  Volunteer them to do things at school.

(63)  Don’t tell them where you’re going or when you’ll be back or who you’ll be with.

(64)  Say: “I’ll be there in a minute.” Then never go.

(65)  Record weird messages on the answering machine.

(66)  When you don’t get your way, sulk, cry, whine, or say: “Please, please, please, puh-leeeezzze?”

 

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